She was sitting on the floor staring at her legs, she felt so naive for doing nothing to save herself from the situation she was in.
“I smiled and now that is all what’s left.” she whispered to herself as she held her knees between both of her arms and started to shake.
“I’m so dumb, so naive and silly. Look at where i am now, look at where my silliness got me.” she started crying and couldn’t help but wonder why she never listened to her husband’s advice, he told her that this life she’s choosing wasn’t for her, he told her that her children need her and that he needs her, she never listened.
Thing is, she never actually bothered with the consequences. She only sought that dream in her heart, the dream of becoming different, unusual, unique.
The dim light started to fade away, it got darker and darker so she looked away, she closed her eyes and breathed heavily, she remembered what her husband used to say. You can never be what you aren’t just like you can never see what’s not meant to be, stop chasing stars.
“I did this to myself, I’m the one who ran away, I’m the one who never wanted to stay.” she sobbed
A long time ago she was living a normal life, a life anyone would desire at her age, she had one child, a loving husband and an amazing career, something was missing…
She was fascinated with colors, colors of life and wonders… she knew there were more colors to life than the one she was living.
Like the adolescent she was, she was trying so hard to be more impressive, more unique and more recognizable.
She ran away at the first opportunity, after making loads of money through unwanted business, she started traveling all around the world, she started living and taking photos of all the places she saw and all the new colors she explored, she was fascinated by it all.
It never crossed her mind that one day all of this would end…
Two years after her running away from all her responsibilities and her family a dull color started taking over her life, she decided to be less selfish and she desired seeing her daughter.
She went back to take a look on her daughter then go back to the freedom she claims she earned. After reaching her destination she saw her daughter in the backyard and gleefully hugged her, the daughter was confused and annoyed so she ran back to the house and left the mother standing all alone in the backyard.
The mother took a step back and imagined what her life could have been if she had continued living here, she imagined having a second child and naming her after her own mother, she imagined traveling with her husband and taking photos for not only the places, but memories of her own as well, her life would have been so different, more colorful, with orange hinges by the frame.
However, she chose to leave… again.
As she drove away to some new destination, her mind wandered to that new born child she could have had, her mind wandered to all the hugs she would have shared with her daughter.
In a second everything changed, all the colors she saw throughout her life were mixed together and her life almost ended as she crashed into a trunk and lost her ability to control anything anymore.
Now there is only darkness, in her brain she lives. In her body she’s bound. Stuck in a comatose forever from the affect of the car crash, she heard the doctors say that they did everything they could, and that she will never get out from the comatose she was in… all because inside of her she had one color and one color only, the color of hunger.
The hunger of exploring more, that urge and unsatisfactory that filled her soul, she was never satisfied, even when she did what she wanted, she desired to go back. The hunger ate her and now as she’s sitting inside her brain, stripped from all the colors, the only color that won’t ever leave her, is the color of hunger.